Schools for being a good parent in Indonesia may be very difficult to find, if not non-existent. In fact, educating children is a must for everyone who has built a household.
As parents, we must be aware that every word and behavior we say will eventually affect our child’s behavior. “Parents’ Speech” has a very fatal impact on children. The words spoken by parents will affect the potential, personality, and character of the child in the future.
So, let’s learn how to educate children well through speech so as not to damage their mentality.
Never Say This to Your Child! Beware Number 5 Often Happens
Reporting from Chai’s Play, there are several statements that parents should avoid so that our children remain mentally and psychologically healthy.
1. Don’t feel like you’re always right
Help children develop their critical thinking to assess that not all adults are always right and must be obeyed. There are good people, and there are also people with evil intentions.
Teach children not to always trust all adults, especially strangers, and to be wary when adults have bad intentions towards them. So, avoid saying, “You have to obey what adults say!“
Because this sentence makes children think that all adults are good and smart. Children will feel that they are just naughty children. They must always obey adults, otherwise they will be scolded.
It would be better for parents to say, “Adults, including fathers, can make mistakes.”
2. Don’t Forbid Children from Expressing Theirself
Long-held emotions will explode in the form of negative and aggressive behavior. Children will grow up to be quiet and withdrawn.
If your child cries, try saying, “You seem sad, huh?“, “Are you sad because you’re sick?“, “Try telling Mom what makes you sad?” Dialogues like this will help children identify the feelings they have within themselves.
Meanwhile, the words that parents should avoid are: “Don’t cry!“, because these words will make children think that they are not allowed to express themselves and are afraid of being scolded by their parents.
3. Don’t Share Toys
Children will be confused if they are forced to share everything, sacrifice, and give in. This only makes them unable to defend themselves, protect, and maintain the values of life that they have.
Try saying things that give your child the opportunity to manage their own belongings, such as “Would you like to borrow your toy from your friend for a moment?” If he doesn’t want to share, don’t force him, let alone take it from him.
You could say, “When you’re done playing with the cars, we’ll lend them to a friend, okay?” or “How about we trade toys for a while?“
4. Don’t Blame Your Child’s Personality
If your child makes a mistake, reprimand him for his mistake, not his personality. Yelling won’t solve the problem. Help your child think about whether he did the action of his own free will or was driven by other situations. Give him a chance to explain his behavior to you.
For example, if a child spills water in a glass, parents are prohibited from saying “You can’t just go one day without causing trouble!” because these words label the child’s personality as bad.
This will have an impact on the child’s mental state, who will feel that he is a naughty child and everything he does will always be wrong in the eyes of his parents.
The words that parents should use are: “Do you want to tell me how the juice spilled?” This sentence will give the child the opportunity to explain what really happened.
Even though parents already know the reason, this will train the child to be sensitive to their environment. It could be that the water spilled because it was accidentally touched by the child’s hand or foot while playing with cars. So parents can invite their children to put the water a little away from where they play.
5. Don’t compare children with other people
Comparing a child to others has a huge negative impact on his self-confidence and makes him think that he will never achieve anything.
If your child’s achievement is not better than other people or friends, try saying to your child: “Mommy is proud of you. You have tried your best, next time we will improve, okay?” Emphasize your child’s strengths and show that you believe in him.
Remember, every child is unique and has their own talents. Parents should never praise others and compare them to their child. This will cause the child to feel worse than other children. He will be reluctant to try new things because he feels that his parents will never be satisfied with what he does.
6. Don’t Ignore Children’s Questions
Even if your child asks about things that only adults understand, try to explain them to him in language that is acceptable to the child according to his age.
This is better than asking other people whose explanations are not necessarily filtered and whose truth is not necessarily guaranteed.
In addition, answering all of a child’s curious questions will build trust and a healthy emotional bond between the child and parent.
These are 6 statements that parents must avoid saying to their children. May our children be physically and mentally healthy. May it be useful.
